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12.12.2002., 14:51
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#1
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IMF voće
Registracija: Nov 2002.
Lokacija: Rastem di stignem!
Postova: 96
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Matematički vicevi...
Evo, počinjem...
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A ja(goda)?
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12.12.2002., 15:05
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#2
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IMF voće
Registracija: Nov 2002.
Lokacija: Rastem di stignem!
Postova: 96
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-- Have you heard that the pope has settled the continuum hypothesis?
-- ???
-- He has declared that cardinals above 80 have no powers.
__________________
A ja(goda)?
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12.12.2002., 15:31
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#3
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IMF voće
Registracija: Nov 2002.
Lokacija: Rastem di stignem!
Postova: 96
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Two male mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x
cubed.
She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"?
He repeats "one third x cubed".
Her: `one thir dex cuebd'? Yes, that's right, he says.
So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".
The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees.
The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"
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A ja(goda)?
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12.12.2002., 15:33
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#4
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IMF voće
Registracija: Nov 2002.
Lokacija: Rastem di stignem!
Postova: 96
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Several scientists were asked to prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime.
Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime. Just to be sure, try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime...
Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an approximation to a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Programmer (reading the output on the screen): 3 is a prime, 3 is a prime, 3 a is prime, 3 is a prime....
Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...
Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...
Chemist: What's a prime?
Politician: "Some numbers are prime.. but the goal is to create a kinder, gentler society where all numbers are prime... "
Programmer: "Wait a minute, I think I have an algorithm from Knuth on finding prime numbers... just a little bit longer, I've found the last bug... no, that's not it... ya know, I think there may be a compiler bug here - oh, did you want IEEE-998.0334 rounding or not? - was that in the spec? - hold on, I've almost got it - I was up all night working on this program, ya know... now if management would just get me that new workstation tha just came out, I'd be done by now... etc., etc. ..."
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A ja(goda)?
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12.12.2002., 15:34
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#5
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IMF voće
Registracija: Nov 2002.
Lokacija: Rastem di stignem!
Postova: 96
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One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."
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A ja(goda)?
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28.03.2006., 20:52
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#6
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Mar 2006.
Lokacija: Shit space
Postova: 52
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dshmnhgfsdhghfhgfghfghfhgfhgfhghfgfgfgfgfghgfgfghf ghghhghghfghfghgfh
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30.04.2007., 22:38
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#7
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Idemo u EU!
Registracija: Feb 2006.
Lokacija: promjenjivo
Postova: 364
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dajte na hrvatskom neke
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n'importe quoi. totalement.
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02.05.2007., 17:13
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#8
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Mar 2007.
Postova: 48
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a ne može, uglavnom gube smisao ako ih se prevede...
why did a mathematician call his dog Cauchy?
- he left residues around every pole!
what is the integral around western europe?
- zero, there are no Poles!
(- yes there are some poles, but they are removable!)
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02.05.2007., 18:05
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#9
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Nov 2003.
Lokacija: split
Postova: 1,781
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zašto niz plavuša konvergira?
jer je ograničen i monoton
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03.05.2007., 22:23
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#10
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P kao čavao
Registracija: Oct 2003.
Lokacija: Varaždin
Postova: 434
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dabogda vam se razlomci ne pokrate
kaj delaš?
D'Alamberta
__________________
točno na današnji dan,prošle subote
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04.05.2007., 21:28
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#11
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Mar 2007.
Postova: 88
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isle deva pustinjom iza prve isle 2 iza 2 isla 1 a iza 3 isla jedna
gdje je problem
3 deva voli lagati
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05.05.2007., 11:05
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#12
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z e x
Registracija: Jan 2007.
Lokacija: away from home
Postova: 455
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probaj staviti tacku posle rednog broja i neki zarez da bolje razumemo ono sto si napisao!
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Luk et maj kejs Copyright 2007 - 2010 All Rights reserved
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05.05.2007., 12:32
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#13
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Pacijent
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why does six afraid of seven?
because seven, eight, nine.
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05.05.2007., 12:35
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#14
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Nov 2003.
Lokacija: split
Postova: 1,781
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Quote:
SatansLittleHelper kaže:
why does six afraid of seven?
because seven, eight, nine.
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ajme staroga vica još se sićan kad je to bilo u Dexters laboratory pa nisan kužija hehe
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05.05.2007., 12:52
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#15
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Lord Rayden Wins
Registracija: Apr 2006.
Lokacija: Split
Postova: 4,867
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grupa inženjera je dobila zadatak izmjeriti visinu stupa na kojeg se obješa zastava, a u tu svrhu smiju koristiti samo svoje ruke i noge, te metar koji se zakaci na vrh te povlačeći prema dnu, izmjeri visina stupa.
i pokušavaju oni, ali nikako da im krene. još se nekako i popnu do vrha i zakače metar ali pri povlačenju metar im sklizne i opet ispočetka.
uto naiše matematičar i pita ih u čemu je problem. ovi mu kažu, a on se ponudi da im da rješenje. oni prihvate.
matematičar jednostavno iščupa stup, položi ga na zemlju, zakači metar na jedan kraj i izmjeri, i kaže 5 metara te ode.
ljutiti inženjeri se pogledaju međusobno i zaključe:
"pravi je matematičar, mi tražimo visinu, a on nama duljinu!!!!"
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vozi tangentom po točki infleksije
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08.05.2007., 00:40
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#16
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dirty little bastard
Registracija: Apr 2007.
Lokacija: Sarajevo
Postova: 10
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Ide diferencijal ulicom i natrči na funkciju.
"Mori funkcijo daj neke pare inače ti ne gine prvi izvod a ako me razbjesniš možemo i dalje".
"Nemoj molim te druže diferencijal evo ovdje je sve što imam".
"Vrlo dobro funkcijo!"
Ide tako dalje naš diferencijal i natrči na drugu funkciju
"Mori funkcijo ..."
"Nemoj molim te, nemam para al' evo ti bonovi za menzu".
"Može!"
Kad je naišao i na treću funkciju gladni diferencijal reče:
"Mori funkcijo ..."
"Evo tebi karina, ja sam e na x."
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Live long and prosper!
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10.05.2007., 08:30
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#17
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d/dt
Registracija: Feb 2007.
Lokacija: PMFST
Postova: 313
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šta napravi matematičar kad dobije upalu sinusa?
-ode u apoteku i traži arcus sinus.
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10.08.2008., 16:55
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#18
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Mar 2007.
Postova: 48
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stari, ali simpatičan
trči funkcija i viče. "bježite svi, stiže derivacija!!!"
sve su se funkcije razbježale, samo jedna mirno, nezainteresirano stoji.
dolazi derivacija i kaže: "šta ti ne bježiš? ja sam derivacija!"
funkcija kulerski odgovara: "pa šta onda, ja sam e na x"
derivacija će: "a ja sam derivacija po y!"
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14.08.2008., 22:07
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#19
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Aug 2008.
Lokacija: Koprivničko-križevačka županija
Postova: 482
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Što je površina?
Sudare se jedan i jedan.
Jedan od njih pogine.
Onaj preživjeli postao je površina, a poginuli prešao u drugu dimenziju.
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14.08.2008., 22:14
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#20
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Registrirani korisnik
Registracija: Aug 2008.
Lokacija: Koprivničko-križevačka županija
Postova: 482
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Prva obitelj
Reče broj jedan : Ja sam Bog!!!
Na to će nula : Ali moja je majka sve rodila.
Nakon nekog vremena vjenčaju se nula (0) i jedan (1) te postaše : jedan broj deset (10).
Imali su devetero djece :
- Broj (1)
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- Broj (9)
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